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Nobody prepares you for the hell of going one on one against a covert narcissistic personality in the courtroom. However, let me explain the stages of divorcing a narcissist before you jump into a pit of hell.
In my experience with divorcing a narcissist woman, they will have a lawyer with the same narcissistic traits.
With that being said, even if you are divorcing a covert narcissist husband it all remains the same as judges will buy every single one of their so-called victim cries.
This will cause you to lose any hope that you have the slightest chance to win the bullies in front of you.
However, you will lose a couple of court dates. Maybe more. It takes your resilience to get through the nightmare. You can learn how to survive a divorce from a narcissist, just as I did.
I learned the hard way as well, but eventually, I understood how to beat my narcissistic ex-spouse at her own game.
If you have to get a lawyer, get one experienced in narcissistic personality disorder
Search for lawyers until you find the right fit no matter how long it takes. This is a very important step of strategies for divorcing a narcissist.
Don’t just go off of what you read about them. Meet them in person so you can feel it in your gut.
If they don’t feel right, they aren’t for you. The aftermath of divorcing a narcissist is a long battle.
How to survive a divorce from a narcissist
1. Never show your next move
- Keep everything you have to yourself
- They will have the chance to cover it up. Believe me, they will.
- Trust nobody.
- False accusations will come flying at you when divorcing a Narcissist.
Proving them to be a liar is essential to success.
2. Don’t buy into a “nice Narcissist”
- As you understand narcissism more and more, you will find out how quickly they turn to be nice.
This only means they are setting you up for a nasty attack.
- Hoovering is common, and you are only a temporary dose of narcissistic supply
- You will begin to feel the love that you once knew, and this makes it very hard to resist.
You need to put your foot down and understand that the Narcissist is only giving you another fake illusion of themselves that does not exist.
3. Leave your emotions outside of the courtroom
- No feelings. Narcissists will be quick to throw accusations at you.
Your overreaction is what can get you in deep trouble.
- A Covert Narcissist only wants to get a rise out of you to gain more control of your life.
Not allowing this is 60 percent of the battle.
- Judges will look to you as accusations are being said. If you remain calm, they will notice and respect this. Personally, this strategy has worked 100% of the time.
- As you remain calm, you can watch your Narcissist lose their footing in court.
They will begin to show how unstable they actually are and
Sometimes this can be the ultimate flip of the divorce proceeding in your favour.
4. Communicate only when necessary
- If lawyers are involved then it should only be through them.
- They will use any dirt they can against you to prove their delusional point.
- Keep it straight to the point. This is especially true if children are involved because a
The narcissist will only use them as a negotiating tool.
- Any signs of harassment is a common tool for the Narcissist to gain control of the
5. Document everything
- If you haven’t been one to keep a record of things, you better start now.
This is one of the most important strategies to beat your covert Narcissist in a divorce.
- When it comes to defending accusations, you need to be able to show the facts.
If you don’t have the facts you have absolutely nothing.
- A covert Narcissist has a charm that you can expect Judges to buy.
You might see the evil in your narcissistic ex-spouse, but that doesn’t mean everybody will.
- Narcissists don’t have to prove any allegations thrown at you.
Unfortunately, you will have to disprove them.
- Don’t expect any kind of repercussion for those atrocious accusations.
Moving on after divorcing a narcissist
There are many stages in a divorce court. When custody is in the mix you will have the biggest emotional roller coaster ride of your life.
Learning about covert narcissist mother under these stages is all based on your self-control. This will get easier as you push through this nightmare,
Often, when pushed into a corner a Narcissist will unleash narcissistic rage. A fury that will do whatever it takes to push you out of their life.
While educating myself on how to destroy a Narcissist in court, I eventually learned how to use this explosive rage to my advantage.
Covert Narcissists are usually stealth when they are approaching any battle. They do not ever want to get caught and exposed as a fake.
With that being said, when the fury of rage is ignited I began to notice they aren’t very sneaky.
However, be prepared for an absolute onslaught of accusations. Child abuse, neglect, harassment and more that could lead to prison time.
Do not use this tactic without having your guard up and ready with facts. Hard facts. Do not contact them if you feel something is up.
The reason for not contacting them is because of any “without notice” protection orders that may or may not be in place. Any communication will lead to your arrest.
Believe me, the police will love to play the “hero” in the situation. Unfortunately, they are ordered to arrest you no matter what. Inflicting narcissistic injury in a divorce is a risky move.
You will receive papers within the week to fight the protection order in place. Your best bet is to use your best judgment on proving all the allegations as malicious.
Narcissist Divorce Tactics
Confine your energy in what matters the most.
A Narcissist only plays to win. If that means destroying you both financially and mentally than don’t expect them to slow down.
Your mental health will be a big part in this, and staying as healthy as you can will keep you on top of the divorce.
Online therapy is my favourite choice during the pandemic. Therapists are always available, and it’s extremely affordable right from the comfort of your own home.
You are going to have to watch your circle and who you trust. It’s not only unethical, narcissistic lawyers in your path.
Family members, school teachers, close friends and more will buy into a Narcissist’s charm. Behind your back, they can be working against you as your ex-spouse conveniently plays the victim card.
Play this game to win as well, but avoid creating more conflict and court time. If you are satisfied with what you have then you can absolutely settle.
Don’t settle for less, but the sooner you get out of the courtroom the better you can move on from this tragic experience.
How to divorce a Narcissist and win
Among the ways above, there are resources you will want to educate yourself with to fully understand what you are up against.
I spent a lot of wasted time searching google for a way out of the Devil’s playground of divorce court.
You hear about the corruption in court cases but you don’t actually see it until you are in it.
Luckily, Ann Bradly covers her own divorce against her narcissistic ex-spouse and his unethical attorneys so you can see it before you step foot in it.
She exposes the judges and lawyers who set everything up for her to lose. She lost her case.
However, she did not give up. It was appealed in a higher court and she was able to prove the disgusting actions used against her.
After winning the appeal, she wrote a book showing each and every move that made her succeed.
I highly recommend this treasure because it really opens your eyes to how the system does not care about your well-being.
Protecting your family is the best feeling you can have.
Divorcing a Narcissist – the ultimate challenge
Divorcing a Narcissist is a lonely road. .However, you can get through this.
Therapy is important because it’s easy to get side tracked. A support system you can trust is also essential.
Do not look at your ex spouse as the person they pretended to once be. This will only end bad.
That person was only an illusion, and your empathy is something they wanted to destroy.
They are jealous of your confidence. Your accomplishments. How much your children talk about you. Everything.
Keep your head up and fight through the madness for your family and yourself.
After all is said and done, you will be able to spread the word on narcissism and not be slightly faded by your ex spouse.
You will come out stronger than before, with a heightened sensitivity to point out these demonic spirits.
Ultimately, you will find the person that is not putting on a show for you. They want you for you.
With that being said, if you attracted a Narcissist once you are bound to do it again. Mastering the stages of divorcing a narcissist is a pain in the arse once, so I can only imagine doing it twice.
Let this be a lesson to keep your guard up and recognize the real from the fake. After this divorce, you will be able to smell them from a mile away.
Here is an amazing resource for women going through a divorce. Made just for you!
Entrepreneur, Father to my favorite, and dedicated to helping people get back to themselves after being victims of narcissistic abuse.
- How to destroy a narcissist in court and win January 8, 2021
- Stages of divorcing a Narcissist and the aftermath it brings January 7, 2021
- How to inflict narcissistic injury | narcissistic rage January 1, 2021
- Narcissistic Abuse Recovery | emotional trauma December 23, 2020
- Narcissistic Parental Abuse | Protecting your children December 23, 2020