Narcissistic Parental Abuse | Protecting your children

Effects of narcissistic Mother on children

Every day is a different struggle when trying to protect my daughter from narcissistic parental abuse. It is never the same.


A narcissistic personality disorder is complex, and dealing with narcissistic mother symptoms means understanding when abuse is happening to your child.

It may start with marks on the child for not following orders and the child will likely say it was from falling at the playground.

Kids don’t want to get into trouble. Even worse, your reaction will make things go south quickly.

Personally, I went the wrong route by calling child protection (MCFD) to at least show a pattern of marks that were clearly forced.

However, even with doctors agreeing that this was most definitely abuse, child protection closed the files without even looking at forensic evidence.

I was told that bringing our child to the hospital so many times is the actual abuse that is happening.

Abuse claims will be turned on you as harassment, as your proof will seem like a spiteful parent looking for revenge.

With that being said, this leaves a door open for more beatings that are going to be even harder to stop.

A narcissistic parent will continue to do these things until they feel they might get caught. Exposing their shame at the wrong time is a bad idea.

If you are dealing with a narcissistic father or mother, it is best to document these things and keep going back to the hospital.

I don’t care what a child protection worker says to you, your children will see that you are the only one that is trying to help.

If it comes to court, at least you will have consistent documentation showing covert narcissistic mother traits.

covert narcissist mother traits

Narcissistic parenting distorts our self-perception; instead of being given the building blocks of healthy self-esteem, we internalize a nagging inner critic and a perpetual sense of self-doubt 

Psych Central | Narcissistic Parenting

Surviving Narcissistic Parents

When you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behaviour. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.

narcissist parenting abuse

Dealing with a narcissistic mother

It is not easy trying to protect your own mental health while shielding your children from manipulation and rage.

Signs of narcissistic abuse will become very clear as you are with your children without your ex-spouse around.

You know your children the best. You have to go with your gut.

They count on you to see the darkness, and stop it from taking them over.

Signs of narcissistic abuse

  • Emotionally empty
  • Exhaustion from seeking love
  • Unable to trust people
  • Become secretive about everything
  • Depression, PTSD leading to adulthood
  • The child will be treated as an accessory to the parent, rather than a person.
  • Will not act as themselves, as they are taught to be somebody else from the abusive parent

How to deal with narcissistic parental abuse

You have to understand that nobody is going to understand the pain that you and your children are going through.

Narcissistic parents are the best at looking like the people that are taking full care of their child.

Unfortunately, we know that children are nothing more than just a negotiating tool to get what they want.

They have no love to give.

If you are involved in a court battle, you need to learn how to beat a narcissist in court.

With that being said, here are ways to deal with narcissistic parents.

1. Show empathy

  • Consistently. As hard as it is, don’t bad-mouth the other parent.
  • Don’t be a doormat, turning the bad things said about you into little jokes with your child is fine. This may be unpopular, but it worked much better than ignoring the comments for me.

2. Let your children express themselves

  • A Narcissist won’t want their children to be anything other than what they say they should be. You have to let them be themselves with you.
  • The more you draw them towards who they really are, the easier it will be when you have to drop them off. They will learn how to keep themselves safe from emotional abuse

3. Avoid conflict

  • Drama is what fuels a narcissist.
  • The more you react to their ridiculous tactics, the more they will continue because it clearly works

4. Spoil your children to compensate for neglect

  • The feelings of not being good enough will display in your children.
  • Depending on the severity of narcissistic abuse, you might have to spoil your children a bit to get them back to reality.
  • I found my daughter was starving from so much neglect that she had almost zero emotions. The turnaround was showing love and gifts just for the hell of it.

5. Just be a good parent

  • To your children, and your ex-spouse.
  • By now, you should know that the adult child is going to need a parent to control any temper tantrums.

Dealing with a narcissistic ex

Co-parenting with an ex-spouse is a challenge, though it is manageable through careful planning and communication

co-parenting narcissist ex book

Subscribe For Free Products And Updates

Sign up to free education on narcissism, free products, and offers you won't find anywhere else on the web

Invalid email address
We promise not to spam you. You can unsubscribe at any time.